neither here nor there then where

I've got to be honest here for a moment. There are a few things I need to get out there, but I hope it doesn't make you think any less of me. I guess you could say I am one of those guys who's vulnerability is reserved for a few. I like to have it all together, have all the answers, and of course, tell you them all as well. I can't put my finger on it, but tonight, something tells me you deserve more than my shallow depth.

I feel somewhat stuck in the middle. Neither here nor there. I've graduated Southeastern, I've started a Masters degree that I'll finish in April, and then where...what...who...? Things seem to be at a standstill now, and yet moving so fast at the same time. I probably sound crazy, I'm trying really hard to explain it. I feel like I should be doing so much to prepare for my future, for this grand mystery that exists somewhere five months from now.

I'm not having much luck communicating tonight. I guess this is all that needs to be said for now. I leave you with this,

"Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live." -Henry David Throeau

shortsighted

Here's a quote I read tonight. I initially had some thoughts about it...

The inherent vice of capitalism is the uneven division of blessings, while the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal division of misery.
- Sir Winston Churchill

The root of "uneven division of blessings" is not the vice of capitalism, but the outworkings of human nature as clearly revealed in a free market environment. Some would suggest that opportunity is unequally distributed in America. If that is to be said of our citizens, how do we reconcile the fact that every day, people cross our borders with the clothes on their backs and the pennies in their pockets, only to rise as perpetual testaments to the American dream. To be honest, I have a hard time believing that there is true poverty in america when a vast majority of our lowest income bracket carries cell phones and drives their own cars. Could it be not so much a lack of opportunity as it is a paralyzing sense of entitlement, or sheer laziness, or a harmful misappropriation of priorities, if not all of the above? I hope that I don't sound cold hearted. I do bear compassion towards the socially unfortunate, but most of my compassion is not towards their financial situation. It's towards their inability to stand freely on their own two feet. Government granting more "opportunity" won't make the difference, and likewise, neither has money the capacity heal judgments, cultivate discipline, or realign priority. The answer is not a change in government or in market structure, it's an empowered church who is healing and restoring minds and hearts that can stand on their own two feet again, if not for the first time ever. Minds and hearts that are free to grab onto and hold onto the opportunities that have been before them all along.

perspective for the zealots

When it comes to upholding and advancing the values and the economy of Christ's kingdom, the government is not responsible. And maybe they have done such a poor job at it historically because it isn't in their job description; and it shouldn't be. I would contend that the Church who sees their role as one who pickets, protests, and legislates, is the Church with great unawareness over their own soul's disconnect from the heart of God.

It's time fingerpointing and voter booths stop affirming our apathy and inaction. It's time a group of nobodys get together again and change the world.

Knowing

There is so much I want to say right now. I've been staring at a blank screen for almost 30 minutes, sorting through my mind and trying to find some cohesion of thought that would make any degree of sense. Self-understanding can be a difficult feat. Ironic how much self-consciousness and how little self-awareness can coexist.

Well, I am officially three weeks into my Masters program at UF, and (in a very small nutshell) here is what I've learned:

1. Sandals don't go well with a campus the size of Disney World.
2. The city bus is the most silent experience, second only to elevators.
3. Homeless guys deserve cigarettes too.
4. Anywhere from 4-9 hours of homework a day is normal.
5. Although I didn't realize it at the time, Southeastern is an insanely thick bubble.
6. Being salt and light is a much more difficult and messy task than I ever imagined.
7. Solomon was right. Nothing under the sun will satisfy. Get over the sun.
8. Grace means God loves you right now. Not some future you who finally gets it right.
9. I love my friends. A lot.
10. I need to update my blog more than once a month.

Marco...Polo...

I'm finding myself at a place I haven't been for a while. Probably longer than you'd guess.

I didn't ask for it.

I'm not complaining either...

Not in the least bit.

I'd like to think that all good ideas are the right ideas. But, then again, who really knows at this point? I'd like to know.


I am officially a Gainesville resident for the next 10 months! I guess it could be longer, but at this point I'm digging my feet in deep and preparing for a unbelievable year. A lot of unknowns...sure. A little nervousness...yes. But, my expectations far exceed both. I don't know what's in store for me, and conjecture won't take me too far...but, never hurts to dream does it?

How I spent Day 1:
1) Cup of coffee...wasn't Starbucks...why did I bother?
2) Apartment pool
3) 9 mile bike ride
4) Publix
5) Gator's Dockside
6) Get Smart...a B movie for sure, but worth a few good laughs.
____________________________________________________________________

"Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live." -Henry David Thoreau

Seeing the Soul

So, I've got a proposal for you.

On your pursuit of holiness, stop asking the question, "Is it right or is it wrong?" Instead, ask yourself, "Does this stir my affection for Jesus, or does it rob me of my affection for Jesus?"

You see, I think we've become really good managers of the flesh. I believe that we mean well, but our misguided pursuit of morality has caused us to simply reconfigure the same junk, address the symptoms, and find ourselves perpetually frustrated over our failure to break the cycle.

What might life with Christ look like if we stopped studying our rulebooks, decided to wake up, and payed earnest attention to our souls? God didn't die so that you could become a moral person. He died so that you might have life. Even the rich young ruler, who had never broken the law, still found himself lacking.

So, let's put away checklists and the cultural norms we so often mindlessly adhere to, and let us take seriously the call not to manage the flesh, but to pursue Christ.

Not "Is it right or is it wrong?" But, from a much deeper place, "Does this stir my affection for Jesus or does it rob me of my affection for Jesus?"