Knowing

There is so much I want to say right now. I've been staring at a blank screen for almost 30 minutes, sorting through my mind and trying to find some cohesion of thought that would make any degree of sense. Self-understanding can be a difficult feat. Ironic how much self-consciousness and how little self-awareness can coexist.

Well, I am officially three weeks into my Masters program at UF, and (in a very small nutshell) here is what I've learned:

1. Sandals don't go well with a campus the size of Disney World.
2. The city bus is the most silent experience, second only to elevators.
3. Homeless guys deserve cigarettes too.
4. Anywhere from 4-9 hours of homework a day is normal.
5. Although I didn't realize it at the time, Southeastern is an insanely thick bubble.
6. Being salt and light is a much more difficult and messy task than I ever imagined.
7. Solomon was right. Nothing under the sun will satisfy. Get over the sun.
8. Grace means God loves you right now. Not some future you who finally gets it right.
9. I love my friends. A lot.
10. I need to update my blog more than once a month.

Marco...Polo...

I'm finding myself at a place I haven't been for a while. Probably longer than you'd guess.

I didn't ask for it.

I'm not complaining either...

Not in the least bit.

I'd like to think that all good ideas are the right ideas. But, then again, who really knows at this point? I'd like to know.


I am officially a Gainesville resident for the next 10 months! I guess it could be longer, but at this point I'm digging my feet in deep and preparing for a unbelievable year. A lot of unknowns...sure. A little nervousness...yes. But, my expectations far exceed both. I don't know what's in store for me, and conjecture won't take me too far...but, never hurts to dream does it?

How I spent Day 1:
1) Cup of coffee...wasn't Starbucks...why did I bother?
2) Apartment pool
3) 9 mile bike ride
4) Publix
5) Gator's Dockside
6) Get Smart...a B movie for sure, but worth a few good laughs.
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"Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations. For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live." -Henry David Thoreau

Seeing the Soul

So, I've got a proposal for you.

On your pursuit of holiness, stop asking the question, "Is it right or is it wrong?" Instead, ask yourself, "Does this stir my affection for Jesus, or does it rob me of my affection for Jesus?"

You see, I think we've become really good managers of the flesh. I believe that we mean well, but our misguided pursuit of morality has caused us to simply reconfigure the same junk, address the symptoms, and find ourselves perpetually frustrated over our failure to break the cycle.

What might life with Christ look like if we stopped studying our rulebooks, decided to wake up, and payed earnest attention to our souls? God didn't die so that you could become a moral person. He died so that you might have life. Even the rich young ruler, who had never broken the law, still found himself lacking.

So, let's put away checklists and the cultural norms we so often mindlessly adhere to, and let us take seriously the call not to manage the flesh, but to pursue Christ.

Not "Is it right or is it wrong?" But, from a much deeper place, "Does this stir my affection for Jesus or does it rob me of my affection for Jesus?"

I Was Deleted??

So apparently my previous account on blogspot was deleted.

Here's to a fresh start...

Nothing in My Hands I Bring

So there is this passage in Matthew where Jesus is sitting on a hill and teaching a bunch of people. The people were naturally intrigued by him, after all, he had just gone throughout Galilee healing person after person. He was no ordinary rabbi and his messaged sounded very, very different from the rabbis who had walked before him. After the men saved their families a seat at the foot of the hill and the women pulled the children away from skipping rocks, Jesus introduced his teaching with these words:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Poor in spirit? Weak. Empty. Helpless. Hopeless in and of themselves. These are the characteristics of those who inherit the kingdom of heaven. He who walks as such will be counted blessed. Huh? I thought it was the strong, the mighty, the one who had the most willpower, the one who continually "did better," the one who pulled himself up by his bootstraps and cleaned himself up. I thought those were the blessed ones. I thought it was these who would inherit the kingdom of heaven, even though I never found myself among them. Yeah, these words sounded very different. Almost backwards. As if, whatever you thought to be true about life, even a life of faith, reverse it, and that is the way of Christ.

I am a little uncomfortable with this message because I've got this residing thought in my mind that I've got to prove myself to others. God gave me grace in the beginning to get me on my feet and get me started, but eventually I muster up the willpower to live right and do better. After all, don't I have to prove to God that I'm a big boy now? "Jesus, look at what I can do."

No, it is those who live weak, empty, helpless, and hopeless in and of themselves that live blessed. It is these who find the great reward. It is these who inherit his kingdom.

Spiritual maturity is not a graduation from grace.